In some form or another, I’ve been a leader since I was sixteen. I was Senior Patrol Leader of my boyscout troop and the youngest Ecology Director of the corresponding summer camp in its history.

I’m not trying to show off. Instead, I’d like to use these facts to draw close attention to the fact that—in my own opinion—I am a terrible leader. I’ve run computer labs, managed teams, developed professional development, fired likeable, but irresponsible, staff. You name it; I’ve done it.

Why am I so awful? I struggle in one area: delegation. When forced to participate in group projects in college, I championed the stance of “Go away, I will do this project alone and you’re all more than welcome to take credit for it later.”

I’ve been told that “perfect is the enemy of the good.” Despite years of experience proving that statement, I constantly struggle with it. I care a lot. It matters to me that things are done perfectly and I trust only one person—myself.

The problem is that that belief system doesn’t scale. Part of being a leader is building capacity in other people and being supportive when they screw something up. Granted, this is harder when you actually care that something is in Helvetica rather than Arial. That said, another part of being a leader is putting aside your profoundly deep mental issues.

Given the things we have going on at my school, there is no way I am going to be able to be the point person for all things technology. I will have to delegate to my staff (currently one 12th grade student—who is amazing) and my colleagues. Also, I am going to have to learn to let things be “good enough.”

For someone as damaged as me, that’s easier said than done.